As I began my work day I am consumed by an overwhelming fear of dread.

That some unknown situation would transpire to cause me mental pain.

Perhaps my feelings would be hurt by a co-working expressing disappointment in me.

Perhaps an emergency will transpire and cause me anxiety and more fear.


My Thoughts Are Not Reality Continuing with the meditation that my thoughts are not to be taken as reality, I considered that just because I am having fearful thoughts, that does not mean that *I* am in fear.

This requires me to define what *I* means.


I am Always The Observer This takes me to humility. If I take the truly humble position, I am always the observer of what is going on in my mind and the world around me.

I can direct my mouth to open and my body to take actions, but, I cannot fully control anything, even my own thoughts.

Therefore, these thoughts, that I cannot control, are not *me*.


I Just Have Thoughts Of Fear...

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Each day, when I write my Gratitude List I now include this line:

I know my Thoughts are Not Reality

I am “Grateful” for this, because without this knowledge I would be trapped in a Belief System that was constrained by the false belief that what is inside my head is actually real, and must be dealt with as such. There would be no Winning here because my mind is capable of producing practically any  thought and by conservative estimates I figure about 99% of these Thoughts are untrue/incorrect.

My brain just produces Thoughts. It can’t stop. I must accept this.

However, worse, I can’t-control-these-thoughts!

If my brain wants to come up with unpleasant thoughts (“everyone in my family will die of the virus and leave me alone”), there-is-nothing-I-can-do-to-stop-these-thoughts!

Dealing With Thoughts This is how I try to deal with my Thoughts in order of importance:

Do not make decisions based on my Thoughts

My Feelings are real, but...

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The book, The Worry Trick, How Your Brain Tricks You into Expecting the Worst and What You Can Do About It, by David Carbonell PhD, teaches us that basically our thoughts are not reality. The point of the book is to get you to accept these thoughts.

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I define the Ego as how I view myself in the world and with others.

My Ego is not necessarily the truth, but how I think the truth is (or mostly what I want the truth to be).

I have come to realize that all my fears are of anything that threatens my Ego.

I find a solution is to either:

  • Accept this loss of Ego
  • Come to the belief that this Ego position was never true in the first place

As we meditate on suffering and how it is something that we bring upon ourselves because we are resistant to acceptance, we begin to understand that this is a lack of humility. Humility is simply seeing things as they are.

In trying to see things as they are, we naturally form opinions about the various things in our lives. When others disagree we resist them. We then find ourselves back in the loop of being resistant to acceptance and suffering.

We eventually must see that we must have acceptance in all things to prevent suffering.

So, when we find ourselves suffering, we can ask ourselves, “What thing am I not accepting? Where am I insisting that I am right and digging my heels in?”

Without exception, “Bad News” is defined as ‘something unexpected’.

The power of “Acceptance” (this requires humility), is that once I ‘accept the situation’, I can move this situation from “Bad News” to “undesirable developments”.

This is an important distinction in relation to fear and possible feelings of hopelessness and depression.

Again, without exception, fear is always: ‘what I want or expect wont happen’ or ‘not being able to control my future’. For example, I expect that I should be ‘treated fairly’ and I fear that ‘it wont happen’ or that I cannot ‘make it happen’. So, when I am ‘not treated fairly’, I consider it “Bad News”.

However, I always have the option to not hold this expectation.

Therefore, I do not need to fear this situation.

It occurred to me that at the core of all depression is fear. This is not that surprising, but, what may be surprising is to realize that this fear is always one thing: the fear of not being able to control the future.

I can think of no exception to this.

When this feeling becomes all consuming, blocking out the other parts of life, and affecting all perspective, it becomes depression.

Because, acceptance transcends fear. When we relinquish trying to control the future, and accept what may (or may not) happen, we no longer have to fear it. Bad things happen to us all the time, it is only the things that we resist, because we want to control, that we fear. But, it is not the thing that we fear, it is the chance that we may not be able to control the situation that is the core of our fear.

No Control Anyway However, I realize that I do not have control anyway. Anytime I do not have acceptance, I am just being resistant. I am being immature, and I am not being humble.

The blessing...

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After months of meditating on it, I have concluded that fear will never go away. It will always show up, somehow.

Fear is an emotion, and like all emotions it passes. The challenge is to not make decisions based on these fears because these decisions are usually unwise and are only explainable if “I did it because I was afraid” is used as a justification.

The thing we fear the most is anything that threatens our ego. Our ego is our sense of ourselves. We fear anything that threatens this, because if we lose our sense of ourselves, what remains?

The solution to this dilemma is to practice humility. Humility is a “…modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance”. If we do not resist the truth of who we actually are, we don’t need to fight to constantly defend it. We don’t have to fear what we accept.

Acceptance In All Things In regards to all fears other than fears directly related to ego (however, the underlying...

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Some say that courage is being scared but doing the correct thing anyway. So perhaps it is safe to say that courage is walking through fear.

What is fear? Most would say “I know it when I see it”.

I would say that I always experience the emotion of fear when I am being resistant to some outcome. I am not accepting that this outcome may happen. This could be a fear of something as major as a cancer diagnosis, or the fear that someone will cut in front of me in line and I will be delayed an additional five minutes.

Therefore, I always have  a solution, that is of Acceptance.

Acceptance is very powerful. Even for the non-believer it can be a Higher Power. Yes, it is practically impossible to do, but to Accept all things at all times, is to humble oneself, and to surrender to a power greater than oneself. What I receive from this submission is a tool that allows me to overcome any fear:

I can accept that negative emotions will come (and be grateful that all emotions pass...

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I am not accepting something that is why I am not at peace and suffering.
I am attached to something.
I am in some way, not humble, this is why I cannot accept something. I feel I deserve something or something to happen the way I want.
I have a choice, I can be more humble, and decide I do not deserve something or something to happen the way I want. 
It is my ego that tells me what I deserve.
What is my ego anyway? It is simply how I see myself.

I am constantly trying to get the real world to match up to my ego.
My greatest fear is anything that threatens my ego.
This is the core of all my fears.

Humility is the key that opens this door to freedom.

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