Author: admin Created: 10/9/2009 5:28 AM
Stuff Happens. Accepting it is the key to happiness.

Some say that courage is being scared but doing the correct thing anyway. So perhaps it is safe to say that courage is walking through fear.

What is fear? Most would say “I know it when I see it”.

I would say that I always experience the emotion of fear when I am being resistant to some outcome. I am not accepting that this outcome may happen. This could be a fear of something as major as a cancer diagnosis, or the fear that someone will cut in front of me in line and I will be delayed an additional five minutes.

Therefore, I always have  a solution, that is of Acceptance.

Acceptance is very powerful. Even for the non-believer it can be a Higher Power. Yes, it is practically impossible to do, but to Accept all things at all times, is to humble oneself, and to surrender to a power greater than oneself. What I receive from this submission is a tool that allows me to overcome any fear:

I can accept that negative emotions will come (and be grateful that all emotions pass...

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I am not accepting something that is why I am not at peace and suffering.
I am attached to something.
I am in some way, not humble, this is why I cannot accept something. I feel I deserve something or something to happen the way I want.
I have a choice, I can be more humble, and decide I do not deserve something or something to happen the way I want. 
It is my ego that tells me what I deserve.
What is my ego anyway? It is simply how I see myself.

I am constantly trying to get the real world to match up to my ego.
My greatest fear is anything that threatens my ego.
This is the core of all my fears.

Humility is the key that opens this door to freedom.

This moment is as good as I will allow it to be. However, attachments block me from this moment with their expectations…

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If we look deeply and honesty we will find that our fears are based on some potential loss of ego or pride. This is easily rectified by being more humble. That presentation that must, in our minds, go perfectly, causes fear and anxiety because we believe that we really are perfect. That we are better than our fellows.

Recognizing the fact that we are not better than our fellows and that our purpose in life is to be a worker among workers, to truly be humble, removes the core of our fears.

“I am not much but I am all I think about.”

Our view of ourselves is our Ego. It is how we define ourselves in the world. It is composed of our beliefs. This can be positive or negative. I can see myself as important or as nothing. Those seeking spirituality learn to recognize that in fact we are all just a part of the entire universe. When we see ourselves as anything more (or less) than that, it is our Ego telling us something that is artificial and not true. We can actually change it by changing our beliefs.   Fear requires the Ego. It is what sees our “problems” as being the most important thing in the world. We believe that if this project at work is not completed on time, all hope in the entire world is lost. It is the Ego that inflates our importance in the universe and the importance of whatever problem we may be experiencing (or think we will experience when projecting into the future).

All fear, even the fear of death, can be altered by altering our beliefs about our position in the...

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Several times a day I say to myself:

“This moment is a Blessing”

No other moment, not the future or the past, but ‘this’ moment

It is not that there are no problems (all my problems are in the future), but that this moment is actually a good thing, a blessing because I am alive, and right now I ask for nothing more

I can only enjoy something if I am grateful for it, so I am grateful for my life… my life right now. I may have a terminal illness but right now, this moment I am alive, it is that I am grateful for. Anything I am grateful for is a blessing to me.

When I see this moment as wonderful (see what I did there, I added ‘wonderful’ because ‘blessings’ are such a good thing) I don’t want, this moment, to be spoiled with Fear or Anger

When I make decisions, in this moment, without Fear or Anger, I make decisions that are very different than I would otherwise

I am able to feel Peace

I am...

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We go through the day and try to order everything in our minds:

My boss will do this and say this

My co-workers will do this and say this

This will happen when I go to the store

The washing machine will do this

When things don’t happen as we expect, our lack of acceptance causes stress. Even worse we imagine what would happen when things don‘t go our way, and the stress we feel is as bad as if it were actually happening.

There is no end to the anxiety, fear, and stress we can build up from this.

Instead we can refuse to figure things out. Recognize and accept the true chaos of life.

Yet, we resist this suggestion.

We feel these things we want we should have, we deserve.  We don’t care that the driver next to us should be allowed to go in front of us, they better not cut in front of us on the freeway. No one should get anything from me, better than me, disagree with me, especially when I have, in my mind,...

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It was suggested that one could stop once an hour all day long and think about the things one can be grateful for at that moment.

Anxiety, fear, and the emotions they bring are inside our head. We think it is about the external things but it is only in how we perceive the external things that is the problem. It is our thinking that is bringing us pain. Specifically it is our resistance to the way things are that is our problem, not the specific thing we are being resistant to. One could lose their job in one situation and be depressed because they feel they will never find a new one, and in another situation be happy to be moving on from a bad situation and confidant they will find a new one. The feelings felt are the result of thinking that is shaped by perception.

The perception is shaped by negative thoughts (resistance) or positive thought (acceptance).

It can be hard to not think negatively, however, nothing stops you from thinking positively, it is always available to you if you have...

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It occurred to me that the core of every fear is a desire. My greatest desire it to be free from any pain, physical or emotional.

If something does cause me pain, it does not meet my expectations that I will have my desire, and anytime my expectations are not met I become angry.

If a person causes me pain I become angry at that person and develop a resentment toward them.

If my anger rises and gets out of control I experience rage.

A Choice It may feel as if fear, anger, rage are things that happen,  and that I have no way to stop them when they take control of me. However, I do have control over the root cause, the desire.

I have the ability to let go of any desire. The desire can be just to have a quiet day with no distractions. Yet the phone keeps ringing and people make demands. I can simply let go of that desire. Accept that I cannot have a quiet day.

I can also accept that I cannot avoid being hurt. I can accept that people will say things to me that are not nice....

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I find that feelings of joy, stress, anxiety, and fear is felt now, but is triggered by thoughts of the future. The feeling at the end of the week when looking at the upcoming weekend can bring thoughts of joy. It is not that we wont ever have any problems again in life, it is just that we feel as if our ‘future looks bright’. When we feel depression, it is the exact opposite. We feel that the ‘future’ does not look bright.

This ‘future gazing’ is usually wrong. That weekend full of happiness that we predicted turns out to be consumed with cleaning up the damage from a water leak in the house. That situation that we predicted would bring us pain and misery turns out to not be that bad. Whenever we ‘predict the future’, the longer we project out, the worst our predictions are. The book Stumbling on Happiness describes how bad we are at predicting the future because we don’t predict the details. For example, we imagine our vacation will...

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