The Needless Situations We Create For Ourselves
We frequently find ourselves in stressful situations that we feel powerless to control. However, the majority of the time we can control not only the cause of the situation, but also the method to eliminate the situation once we have found ourselves in it.
The “I Just Need To Do This One Thing”
How many times a day do we find ourselves in a “state” of “I just need to do this one thing”:
- I Just need to copy this file and send it to my boss
- I just need to call this person and explain my position
- I just need to go to the bathroom
The problem is not that we need to do these things, it is the feeling that:
- I will not be happy if I don’t get this thing done
- I must do this thing
- This thing is the most important thing in the world
- I will be a happy person if I do this thing (and I will be unhappy if I don’t )
If we accept the position that we are not “God” and that we really have no control over the world (we only play a part in influencing it), we can come to the realization that there is absolutely nothing that “must happen”. If we are not able to “do this thing”, the world will go on. When we are able to let go of this feeling that “this must happen”, we remove the pressure. We eliminate the possibility that we will become angry if “this thing” does not happen.
How can we do this? We can recognize the fact that as soon as this “current situation” is over, it will be replaced by another one. This allows us to see that any “situation” is only just a temporary thing. “This too shall pass”, it always does. Nothing is insurmountable, even the death of a loved one. Yes, they will “always be gone”, but the way we feel about it will not. All emotions and situations will pass.
So the truth is that if we are able to “do this one thing”, any happiness or pleasure from completing this task will only be temporary. More importantly, the task is probably not that important at all. It can even be argued that while you should try to save someone's life, if you fail, it is not the end of the world because, yes, they will die anyway.
Let Go – Let Stuff Happen
Stuff will happen no matter what we do, the question is will be be fearful because of situations we needlessly create? We have a choice, we do not have to ever feel that anything we do, must get done. We can try, but we do not have to create, in our minds, a situation that this thing must happen.
As we race down the freeway to that appointment, we can pull over and call and say, we will not make it. If we do not get the job, it is not the end of the world. That person we wanted to be with does not want to be with us, yes we will love another in the future.
We don’t have to feel this fear, we have a choice.