5/3/2022 - The Fight I Should Not Be Fighting

My friends are mean to me. My Family doesn’t understand me. They don’t treat me fairly at work. My city and state is incompetent. My country is corrupt. The nations of the world are constantly at war. I am mad at the world, life, and at God. My anger is from my expectations not being met. The core of my dissatisfaction is that I feel I am better than everyone else. Feeling that yes, you must go through pain and disappointment, but, not me. And if I have to go through pain and disap

3/19/2022 - Forgiveness

Being mad and annoyed by people is the number one annoying thing in the world for me. I thought about this, and realized 100% of the things that upset me are people not acting the way I want them to. The only way this can be alleviated by forgiveness. If I just practice tolerance, I find that I am still annoyed, and not at peace. Forgiveness is the only thing that can fully relieve me of the resentments and provide serenity. I cannot change the past. Forgiveness is something that happen

3/3/2022 - My Spiritual Self

Recently while reading a book, I experienced emotions as if I were the characters in the book. I realized that my life, experienced through my brain, is like the characters in the book, and the real me is reading the book. When reading the book, my brain causes me to experience emotions like the characters in the book, but the real me is only the reader. I am actually not the characters in the book. The real me is safe, and just reading the story. Sometimes writing lines and interacting wi

2/26/2022 - Meditation

There is a basic advise for mediation: “ Sit still and breathe, concentrate on your breath, empty your mind ” I have found this to be impossible. My mind constantly goes off thinking of random, sometimes disturbing things. The further advise is: “ If you feel your mind begin to wander, redirect your focus to your breathing ” This does work… for a few seconds, but my mind begins to wander again and I have to repeat the process. The reason I bother with this at all, is that me

2/18/2022 - Memory

There are always “two voices” in my head. The “thought” and “the evaluation of the thought”. I believe the “real me” is not my “thoughts”, the real me is the part of me that “hears” the thoughts, evaluates them, and speaks or performs some action. I also must accept that my thoughts do not affect reality. My thoughts are not “reality”, only “thoughts”. However, these thoughts lead to feelings, and these feelings strongly influence what I say and do to other people. The thought does not caus

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